[17 Oct 2006|04:31am] I remember once asking my mother what was the difference between a mountain bike and a motor bike. She said, "you can't have a mountain bike." I was mortified by her firmness, and immediately shut up. This short exchange has stuck with me for ten years, I estimate. I want to go back and ask her, "What did you mean by that?" Because a mountain bike and a motor bike are simply different bikes; one with a motor, one without. I know there's no way she would remember this exchange. She must have forgotten it immediately. I don't really understand why I remembered that and not the words I said to evoke my first kiss. Another thing I remember from that day. It was the day I was on kids' Jeopardy. I monopolized the prizes for the episode, and at the last break for commercial I turned to an aide and said, "Are you guys going to take that stuff away at the end or is it mine?" But I immediately felt humiliated when I asked this question, because the woman just silently refilled my cup of water and left. That day was in retrospect very regrettable. My mother refused to sign the papers that would have gifted me the mountain bike. Instead she opted for its list value in the form of a check. I walked to the car feeling as small as a toy. I probably think about all this inadvertently once or twice a month. stand on the water?.

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